Sunday, February 24, 2013

Pity party, table for one.

Another Monday, another appointment at the hospital. This is my second appointment in the last two weeks and my fourth for the year, so I am definitely spending a lot more time in the health system than I had hoped I would this year (although, on the plus side, I am now able to productively occupy myself for waiting room waits of up to three hours. Give the high number of people I see sighing, staring blankly at the walls and dejectedly checking their watches, I think that's an impressive and very useful skill).
Because apparently I am still a toddler who needs treats whenever they do anything they don't want to, I gave myself the day off from Finish it February and started a new sock. It's lovely working with Patonyle! The colours remind of Australia so I'm knitting this pair in my tried-and-true man size (72 stitches, 2.25mm needles) to give to my dad for his birthday in July. It's fun starting new projects! And I admit, I was glad to have something to be actually happy about because my test results weren't great and I have now been signed up to attend a clinic every year for the rest of my life. I know I'm lucky because what's a doctor's visit and a blood test and a scan once a year in the scheme of things, especially as the purpose of it preventative care and I don't need to pay for any of it. I know I'm lucky because 'keeping an eye on things' means that nothing is very bad and just ensures I have access to the medical services I require. My ridiculously high levels of self-awareness mean that I know that dealing with chronic illness often results in feelings of depression and helplessness and feeling blue after spending too much time in waiting rooms and hospitals is perfectly normal. But I've decided to give in to the pity party and my cat and I are spending this afternoon together with my new sock, a far-too-large bowl of ice-cream and all the Cary Grant movies I can fit in. Tomorrow I can start looking on the bright side again.

If you need me, I'll be in my most comfortable pair of pyjamas on the couch under a doona in front of the television. See you all later.


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